the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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