Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
