do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
