hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Randomize
