No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
