He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
