FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
