i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
