I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
