omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
