I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
