I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
