I think im going to throw up on grandma
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
