In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
