Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
