PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize