brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
