I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
