please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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