How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
