So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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