no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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