wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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