He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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