I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
