Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I will be naked everywhere
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
We're using joints as your birthday candles
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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