hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
