what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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