susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
