they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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