WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Randomize
