Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
