there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
