i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
