Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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