I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
It's official drugs can't kill me
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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