I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
