i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
