WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
