Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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