I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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