Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
