tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
