That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
