OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Can Purell be used as lube?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
