i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
