i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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