In the future we'll all be gay
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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