I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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