You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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