I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
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