If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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