I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
bring money and cleavage
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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