I love black thongs
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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