I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize