these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
