no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize