im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize