but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Randomize
