omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
