can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
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