There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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