Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
